A curious therapist sees that a human is part of a continuous growth process. YThe more I witness patients struggle and adapt to the ‘slings and arrows outrageous’ fortune, the more I believe in further discussions on adult development.
In the movie the Graduate, we see a wonderful pronouncement of this archetype. The fully attained, all american boy, grown up, capped and gowned lies about in the swimming pool, aimless, directionless. The challenges of adult development, i.e. independent living, career paths, partners and parenting, death and unexpected ‘generational’ promotions thrust our adults brains and hearts to learn powerful existential lessons, if we can support our selves in a healthy way, and meet our environment in ways that engender symbiotic support.
Nothing is a trial by fire like parenting. Becoming a parent is a unique blend of joy and trial, love and challenge. Especially challenging is the way that the overwhelm of parenting inevitably can stir up powerful core experiences. As parents, we nearly inevitably find ourselves confronting our own unresolved issues, emotional wounds, and unhealed aspects of our past as we grow alongside our little ones. Ultimately parents can learn how not only parent their children with the greatest love and regard, but also to turn this same healing attitude within, attending to the needs of our most vulnerable and fussy needs.
Just the lack of sleep alone will impact most parent’s mental health. It's important to acknowledge that the joy of parenthood doesn't preclude moments of loneliness and vulnerability. Parenthood can sometimes feel isolating, especially when societal expectations clash with the reality of our experiences. The endless work of keeping your child alive and happy with food and a roof will often make it hard for people to form connections. Moreover, the realization of how absolutely important it is to cultivate relationships with other parents–that your friends without children may still love you and be a part of your life, but many of them will need more time than you could ever give them.
Teletherapy: A Bridge to Support
In the era of technology, we're fortunate to have access to innovative ways of seeking help and support. Teletherapy, or online therapy, has emerged as a valuable tool, particularly for young parents. The convenience of virtual sessions eliminates the need to travel, making it easier to access therapeutic support amidst a busy parenting schedule. Teletherapy offers a safe space to explore your feelings, process challenges, and gain insights into your own journey of self-healing and growth.
Healing and Parenting Yourself
One of the most transformative realizations in the journey of parenting is the understanding that to be the best parents for our children, we must first learn to heal and parent ourselves. By tending to our emotional wounds, addressing our unresolved issues, and embracing self-compassion, we create a solid foundation upon which we can build healthier relationships with our children.
As you embark on the beautiful journey of parenting, remember that you are not alone. Seeking support, whether through traditional therapy or teletherapy, is a powerful step toward nurturing your well-being and becoming the parent you aspire to be. Through self-healing, we not only create a better world for ourselves but also for the children we are raising.